#Dick Cook

[scottwellsmagic]

829: Obie's 4F 2024 Close-Up Convention - Day Three Report

Friday April 26, 2024

10:30 a.m.          Tricks from Books Everyone Has Forgotten (MC: Mike Powers)

1:30 p.m.            4th Show             Magical Moments (MC: Meir Yedid)

3:30 p.m.            Lecture #5          Jovi Benitez

7:45 p.m.            Tribute to GOH Charming Choi (host: Jeki Yoo)

8:00 p.m.            Korean Gala (MC: Charming Choi)

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[miiuxue]

grilled cheese

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jason is cooking

Dick: Any chance that’s for me?

Jason: It’s for Tim. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side against Bruce.

Damian: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

[flwrkid14]

Had the silliest idea while making breakfast.. what if Damian’s Favorite Brother is Tim, but for the Dumbest Reason...pancakes

My idea is that Tim is Damian’s favorite brother, but not for the reasons one might expect. It’s not because of Tim’s skill, his smarts, or his ability to stay three steps ahead in every fight. Nope. Damian’s real reason for favoring Tim over Dick, Jason, or even Bruce is much simpler.

It’s because Tim makes the best pancakes. Like, legendary pancakes.

Not even kidding.

One morning, Tim casually whips up a batch of pancakes in the kitchen—y’know, because Alfred’s off running errands and the rest of the family doesn’t know the first thing about breakfast beyond opening a box of cereal, and Tim's been feeding himself since he was six. So Tim steps up to the stove, and bam—fluffy, golden stacks of heaven.

Damian, who never really cared for breakfast, takes one bite of Tim’s pancakes and is sold. From that moment on, he’s obsessed.

“Drake, you will make me those pancakes again tomorrow."

And Tim just blinks, completely confused, but shrugs it off like, “Uh, sure?”

The next morning, Damian’s right there in the kitchen, bright and early, waiting for his daily dose of pancake perfection. By the third day, he’s even dragging a chair next to Tim, watching like a hawk as Tim cooks, making sure he’s using the right ingredients.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Batfamily is just like, “Really? This is the thing that bonds them?”

Tim, being Tim, just rolls with it. He doesn’t ask questions. If Damian wants pancakes, Damian gets pancakes. He’s just trying to survive his new role as “Pancake Master.”

But Damian? Oh, he’s serious about this.

Damian tells anyone who will listen that Tim is the only one who knows how to make breakfast properly. He’ll give the other brothers side-eye anytime they dare to suggest they could cook for him. Even Alfred raises an eyebrow, but Damian’s already set: Tim’s pancakes or nothing.

What’s even funnier is that when Damian gets pissed off at anyone, he refuses to eat their cooking. But Tim? Untouchable. The one person who can screw up as many times as he wants and still be in Damian’s good graces—because those pancakes? Irreplaceable.

So, while the Batfamily argues over strategy, patrols, or who gets to drive the Batmobile, Damian's priorities are clear:

"You’re all amateurs. Drake’s the only one who makes pancakes worthy of the Wayne name.”

And now, Tim’s been promoted to Damian’s favorite brother for the silliest reason imaginable. But hey, if the key to Damian’s heart is pancakes, Tim’s got that title locked down.

[on-the-clear-blue]

Tim walking into the dining room: Oh B, i just realized, happy 5 years sober, I am really proud of you.

Bruce, small smile and sipping his tea: Thank you Tim.

Dick, looking up confused from his bowl of cereal: What? Sober? Weren't you drinking last night at the gala?

Bruce, brows furrowed: Not from alcohol, Chum.

Tim, after downing his cup of coffee: Damn you didn't know? It was cocain. B was on that booger sugar.

Bruce, making a face: Please, never call it that again.

Dick, after his brain rebooted: You...you did cocain?

Bruce sighing :Yes I did...I though you knew.

Dick, abandoning his bowl of cereal: No, no I very much didn't! How did you...like get into that?

Tim: Dick take it down a notch, please? Bruce has been clean for years.

Bruce, shaking his head: It's fine Tim, I should have been more up front with this to the others.

Dick, with his head tilted and still a bit upset: Others? You mean only Tim knew?

Bruce, nodding: He caught me taking a key from one of Penguins supply when he was Robin and forced me to confess, I went to rehab a week later.

Dick, sitting back down in a stupor: Wait...You mean the thing when you were gone for like a few months? I thought you were on a deep space mission with the league! Hell, Uncle Clark even said so!

Bruce, wincing: Y-Yes...I was in a treatment center in Sweden...Tim found them and signed me up without telling me, and had Clark take me there...

Bruce side eyeing Tim: Took my Kryptonite before doing so...and my stash.

Tim, unapologetic, shrugging: Mom used the same place when she was getting off of Quaaludes.

Bruce, shrunching his nose: Never did like downers, made it harder to think.

Dick, having a mental breakdown: So you just...did drugs? For like a while? When did this even start?

Bruce, silent for a while, moving his breakfast around for a moment: It started when I was about...16? When I was in the club scene for a bit I got wild, taking pills and such that I didn't need, it was the 80s, blow was all the rage with the youth in higher circles and...well one thing lead to another and I got hooked.

Dick, holding his head in his hands: Oh my God...Wait.. Were you actively doing drugs when you adopted me???

Bruce, groaning: Yes...Didn't it ever seem strange that sometimes I was very lively and then suddenly was practically dead an hour later before getting back to lively?

Dick, horror coming across his face: Oh my God the signs...

Tim, chuckling: B was a God damn drug fiend, practically snorted half of Columbia.

Bruce, looking scandalized: Tim! I was not that bad...

Tim staring at Bruce:

Bruce staring back:

Bruce, sighing: Fine yes it was that bad.

Dick: uninhorant screeching

Bruce, tsking: I quit a few years after taking you in Chum, I only relapsed when Jason...temporarily passed...and that was only for at most a year, Tim found me out, sent me to rehab and while I have had a few scares, I have been sober for years.

Dick: Happy for you, really but holy fuck.

Tim, snorting: It wasn't the first time I caught you B, imagine little old 10 year old me following Batman and Robin and stumbling across the Dark Knight of Gotham doing a line on a gargoyle while Robin beat the shit out of the dealers below.

Dick, agape: Really Bruce? Do you even remember that?

Bruce, Blushing: i...may have done that more than once...

Dick, crying on the inside: BRUCE?!

Jason, walking in with a smoothie: Oh what are we yelling at B for? I want in.

Dick, wildly pointing at Bruce: BATMAN DID COCAIN.

Jason, slowly taking a drag from his smoothie, before turning to Bruce: w h a t?

Bruce, hiding his face in his hands, sullenly: I trained you all better than this. Yes I did drugs, I am 5 years sober.

Jason, softly putting his smoothie down before walking over to Bruce and patting his shoulder: Proud of you for that, like actually good job, holy shit that is hard. But also WHAT THE FUCK.

Bruce, sighing hard: I thought you all knew...

Jason flopping down in a chair, counting on his fingers: Wait a God damn minute, you got on my case for smoking while doing cocain!

Bruce, dead panned: it's a gate way to much harder things.

Jason, squinting: Who are you D.A.R.E?

Tim, cackling: he was! Did a whole speech about it! Full Batman regalia and was talking about how weed is bad!

Bruce glaring lightly at Tim: It is! It can cause lung damage, a build up of black tar in the lungs and can dull your mind when you are in a tike of crisis!

Jason, rolling his eyes: B, Shut the fuck up you did cocain.

Bruce, sighing yet again: You really are not letting that go are you...

Tim, sipping his coffee: Think of it like this, there is a reason B was able to get back to fighting like a week after Bane broke his back.

Bruce, pursing his lips,: Not the time Tim.

Tim, grinning evilly: Oh no, it is very much the time, I have been waiting till the others knew...I have so many blackmail stories....and pictures

Bruce, a look of true fear on his face: Oh God no...

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Jazz takes care of a de-aged Danny, and they lay low in Gotham. But just because Danny’s body is younger doesn’t mean his powers have lessened. In fact, they’ve only grown harder to control. Having the energy of a child makes containing his powers harder (just like when he first got them) until they realize that Danny’s powers are much easier to control when he can get rid of some of his excess energy. Jazz hears about a free gym open to all that is also meta-proof (more durable) from a wonderful woman at the library. (Lookin at you Babs)

The gym has a gigantic kids play area, along with classes for all ages and a training area complete with an American Gladiator style obstacle course for adults. Jazz will use the obstacle course sometimes when her boss has fully ticked her off. Stephanie and Cass volunteer there whenever they can. Jason always sends the alley kids there too because it’s close by and a safe place. Dick leads a class there whenever he can.

Dick actually holds the record for the obstacle course. Until Jazz gives it a go after a particularly trying day. She doesn’t realize there’s a record. She never would have used the course if she’d known. Training with Pandora and Fright Knight gave her plenty of advantages with how she can use her liminality and she definitely doesn’t need to stand out.

But again, she doesn’t know there’s a record. Or that someone saw her going repeatedly through the course (Stephanie) and decided to time her on her next go. (She doesn’t film without permission because she’s respectful of boundaries like that) She does post Jazz’s time in the Batfam group chat to take Dick down a couple notches though.

Or someone else (not Batfam, just a random citizen) takes a video of her doing the course and posts it on the internet and now they (Jazz and Danny) have to stay one step ahead of Vlad, the Batfam, their parents, and avoid the GIW. How hard can it be?

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

I wholly and solidly believe that Bruce can cook. You don’t travel the world the way he did without being able to cook yourself some basic meals when you either can’t go out and get something or don’t currently have the money for it.

So yes, Bruce can cook. Does he cook the most amazing meals in the world? No. But can he cook something edible or something that doesn’t taste like straight up sludge and muck? Absolutely.

I imagine his kids constantly rib on him that he lacks basic survival skills because even if he’s Batman, he’s still a rich kid. And then Bruce sighs and tells Alfred that he’ll handle dinner tonight. The kids all prepare themselves to either not eat for the night or grab some take out, but they still arrive at the dinner table, *just* out of curiosity.

It’s not extravagant. It’s a pot of pasta, a tiny bit over cooked, and meatballs. He even added a tossed salad as a side. They stare at it like it’s going to eat *them*.

Bruce, sits down and makes a plate for himself. Takes a bite. They watch him, waiting for any kind of reaction that it’s bad. Bruce just takes another bite.

Tim, “Fuck it. It can’t kill me.”

He takes a seat and makes his own plate. Takes a bite. His eyes go wide and Dick has 911 ready to dial.

Dick, “Are you okay?”

Tim takes another bite. They all sit and stare and wait.

Tim, “Damn.”

Bruce, “Hm?”

Tim, “You tricked me. Alfred made this, didn’t he? You’re passing his food off as yours.”

Bruce smiles.

Bruce, “While I appreciate the compliment, I can assure you that Alfred had no hand in this. Besides, he’s a much better cook than I am. I just know the basics.”

The others all join in, spaghetti and meatballs on their plates. They all begrudgingly take a bite. And yeah. Tim’s right. It’s good. Not winning any awards, but it’s good home cooked food.

[magnoliasandarson]

Hunger

The reason Jason always has enough food to feed his siblings is that he has food insecurity from being homeless.

I keep seeing those cutesy stories where he cooks for the Batkids, and the thought just hit me. He always has enough now because he didn't then.

He remembers dumpster diving for rotten food. He had been fighting the effects of chronic malnutrition until they dumped him in the Lazarus Pit. Jason Todd feeds everyone, because no one fed him.

[bruciemilf]

Bruce who has no idea how terrifying he actually is.

Tim one day decides that his boredom overrides his siblings' need for peace and quiet. So, like the little agent of chaos he is, he brings up the dreaded question.

"In your unbiased opinion, who's the strongest in the family?"

Immediately all of them go, "Cass." She's smiling shyly about it, but there's a silver of assured confidence in there.n

Tim sighs. Fine. Too easy. " Okay, maybe that narrows it down. Who's most dangerous? I vote Dick."

Dick doesn't even need to think about it. "Aw, thanks, Timmy! I think I'm gonna go with Ja--" Damian's holding a dangerously sharp pencil to his windpipe. "Dami. Of course it's Damian."

Jason scoffs, "Clearly, it's me. That's like, my whole thing remember? I'm the violent robin--"

"Todd, we all know you gave stickers and cartoon bandages to every Rogue you had to arrest. You had gumball smoke bombs." Jason's 100% turning red and Tim is so gonna tease later.

"Besides, both you and Grayson are wrong."

Damian? Giving someone else credit? That, they have to hear. "Who is it, then?"

"It's Baba, obviously."

Jason breaks in a fit of laughter, alongside them. "Oh come on! Bruce? Bruce, who bakes awful vegan cupcakes for the PTA? He literally starts crying everytime we watch Toy Story 3."

"Because the unethical treatment within prison complexes and unfair labor laws forced upon inamtes parallels gets to him! Nevertheless. Baba could defeat mother. What makes you think he'd have a hard time with you?"

Dick snorts, " I think you're being a bit biased,--"

Damian throws a batarang at Bruce, slicing through the air with a quickness.

Their dad is reading reports, but not only does he evade it, sends it back with venomous speed. Right next to Damian's cheek. A purposeful missed shot.

Later, after they recovered from that whiplash, they ask Bruce the same question, and he of course goes with the most logical answer, " Alfred. But I think any of you could defeat me easily."

That doesn't make them feel better at all.

[badly-drawn-doflamingo]

he has a house… go to your house

He gave me an unopened can and ran away,

[empty-promises-too-much-to-count]

I don't know if it's a canon thing or a really popular hc, but Dick not being able to cook is something u will never belive

You can't convince me this boy didn't try to help Alfred in any way possible and wasn't always watching him cook anytime he could

He may not cook a lot, cause it's fucking exhausting no matter how much you like doing it (saying this as a person who can cook, but does it when only in the mood), but he can do it and he isn't falling over his feet he will cook cause it would be the most fulfilling meal in this month (yeah, it's probably a once/twice a month event when he cooks, cause God, this guy does not get enough rest)

Bonus+

People around him may also think he cooks awfully cause they never see him do it, so they just assume he can't, cause why would your ration contain only cereal and fast food if you can cook? (Cause it's exhausting. It does not accure to them)

Also Dick stress cooks after arguments, cause a good knife work is a nice stress relief. He can do this fast cutting thing, when the slices are thin and his fingers aren't cut all over (I need this super power).

Never disturb his cooking, no matter in what mood he started, walk around the kitchen like on egg shells, cause there is a possibility of a knife being thrown at you. Or that you'll have to finish the cooking cause he'd suddenly won't want to cook anymore (I'm projecting)

Bonus++ (birdflash)

Wally learned about the previous paragrath quirks first hand and first he had to catch a knife that was thrown at him (he decided to never ask how dinner with Bruce went ever again, cause he values his life and Dick's mental health) and then had to finish whatever genius of culinary he was doing (he never tells what's that he cooking, but it always turns out good)

Wally does most of the cooking, but he's cooking mostly average, like, edible, pretty tasty, but nowhere Dick's level, neither of them complains, but sometimes Wally would try the dish Dick made the last time he was in the mood for it, and it would obviously be not as good and he'd get kinda upset

[oifaaa]

Need people to understand how funny it is that out of all the bats Jason has been the one dubbed the good cook despite the fact that we never see him cook and in fact most times he's spotted eating it has been take out/ restaurant food which I guess makes sense considering who was supposed to teach him? Alfred?? The man would sooner ban Jason from the kitchen in fear he'd steal the good silverware

[unacknowledgeable]

SK!Reader hanging with Gordon

Something fun for the Brain worms while I’m writing rn lol

Gordon: How was your sleepover with Babs? She didn't really tell me much when she got home, haha 

y/n: What? I'm not friends with Barbara, I'm friends with you??

Gordon: ‘BLUESCREENING’ Oh god I befriended another 8 year old??

y/n: Tf do you mean another???

(thus proceeds the conversation of Reader explaining how Barbara is Dicks, Cass, or Stephs friend, not theirs, and Gordon having an ‘if I had a nickel’ Dr. Doof moment)

[wondersinwaynemanor]

Tim, who out of nowhere, enters Jason's safehouse through the window.

Jason, arranging his books on the shelf: Doesn't mean I'm back for family brunches or whatever the fuck you guys do, doesn't mean you get to do that.

Tim, unbothered, approaches Jason: I have something to tell you, Jay.

Jason, looks at Tim for the first time: Which is? And Jesus, Timmy, don't put your dirty shoes on the clean rug!

Tim, grins: I'm getting better at cooking!

Jason, doubtful: Really?

Tim nods.

Jason: You asking Alf for lessons too?

Tim, grins wider: By playing mobile cooking games.

Jason, blinks: Uh.... Suuuure. But why come to me?

Tim: To show you. Duh.

Jason, very doubtful: Okayyy.

Tim: I'll make it a surprise even! You go on do something outside then I'll have some food ready when you get home.

Jason, shakes his head: I think it's better when I'm here and-

Tim: Trust me, Jay!

Jason: This isn't a prank or something, right? Dickface didn't pay you for this?

Tim: I'm here on my own will.

Jason, sighs: Alright then. Make something quick. I'll just go to the store and get something for Roy.

Jason, before exiting: And if you burn my books.... The safety of my gun will be useless, Timbo.

minutes later, Jason gets an alarm from his safehouse.

there's smoke coming from the pots. a spatula is on the floor. some sauce of some kind is on the cream colored walls. but thankfully, the place isn't on fire. yet.

Jason, enters the kitchen: What the fuck just happened, Tim??? You said I could trust you.

Tim, with bloodshot eyes and messy hair: WHERE ARE MY BOOSTERS? WHERE ARE MY UNLOCKS? WHERE ARE MY UPGRADES???

Jason, already turning off the stove: The fuck--Timmy, you are not playing one of the games on your phone right now!

Jason, picking up the utensils on the floor: This is the real world and there are no boosters, unlocks and fucking upgrades!!!

Tim, grabbing Jason by the shirt: You lie!!!!

meanwhile in Jason's safehouse.

Jason: So the clone is the solution for Tim's meltdowns. When did they become a thing?

Roy, chuckles: I think they've been together for quite some time, Jaybird.

Dick, sighs: Apparently. And I already told Timmy about those games in his phone. He gets too passionate.

Jason: Too passionate isn't the right word, Dick. He nearly burned down the place.

Dick: He wanted to impress you, Jay!

Roy, smiles: At least Lian's got some other playmates aside from me and Jaybird.

they watch as Lian pours tea on Tim and Kon's toy cups.

[forgetmesunflower]

Alfred taught them to cook.

He loves cooking, loves making dinner for a full table, working around different restrictions and preferences, and that's all the more reason to teach each of them how to love it just the same.

Bruce has trouble eating after his parents' death, appetite diminished and joy for new and exciting foods gone. Alfred places a plate on the counter in front of him (Bruce won't eat in the dining room anymore; that was a place for family meals), but all he does is stare.

Alfred tries several new things, anything to peek his ward's interest. Eventually, it becomes simply making sure he gets basic vitamins and minerals. This morning he cuts up fruit in between mixing the crepe batter. Fibre is easiest to get into him in the mornings. Bruce, already nine, comes down to the kitchen and watches him.

"I'll just be a few moments more. Will you get the bowl of custard out of the fridge for me, my boy?"

Bruce complies with a nod. He pulls out the bowl and curiously peeks into the saran wrap covering. Alfred angles away but keeps an eye on him as the boy peels the wrap back and sticks a finger in. Alfred can't imagine scolding him for it when he brings his finger to his mouth and his eyes light up in satisfaction. It's gone quickly, but Alfred has gained his own spark as Bruce sets the bowl beside him on the counter, reaching up on his toes to see the strawberries Alfred slices up.

Alfred holds up one slice as if inspecting it. He pops it into his own mouth. Bruce's eyes go wide before smoothing over. Alfred hums. "I'm not sure if this size is quite right. Will you taste test it for me?" He offers a slice to Bruce.

Bruce scrunches up his nose. "Size doesn't affect taste."

"Oh, but I assure you it does. See for yourself."

Bruce gingerly takes the thick slice of strawberry and slips it between his lips. It sits in his mouth for a while before his jaw moves to chew.

"Well?"

"It tastes like a strawberry."

"Okay, well now try this smaller one." It's thin and flimsy when he passes it over. Bruce eyes him skeptically but slips it in just the same.

Bruce's eyes widen and his lips pucker. "That is different. Why is it different? What'd you do to it?"

Alfred can't help a smile. "Nothing, my boy. That is simply the art of cooking. You want to give it a try?"

His tasks are simple assortment of ingredients and putting the crepes together while Alfred keeps him away from the stove, and Bruce keeps sneaking bits of fruit and dollops of custard, wrinkling his nose at the taste of raw batter.

Nine is a little young to start learning to cook, Alfred thinks, but Bruce eats two and a half stuffed crepes before he realizes he's full. It's the largest breakfast he's eaten in months. Bruce joins Alfred in the kitchen for almost every meal after that.

───

Alfred taught them to cook, and I want to give them each a comfort or otherwise meaningful dish to feature here.

Any suggestions?

I've had thoughts for making one of Dick's being something I grew up loving that Alfred learned to make (with Dick's helpful input to make it closer to home), though my German family's food, I've found, might be more Mennonite-specific. Like wareniki (vareneki) & schmaundt fat or something as simple as kuchen.

I'd love to explore different culture's foods with this, so if you have suggestions, any at all, please share!!! It doesn't have to be culturally specific though. I'd just really love to expand on this idea and started with something simple (and white haha) for Bruce. Though it could always change!

Continuation post!

[jasontoddspussy]

tbh i wish dick had gotten angry at bruce for resuscitating joker

like. i know he did it bcs of the whole kidnapping tim and making dick think joker killed tim

i wish though that dick had been so angry that bruce rescucitated him that he later on hires a mercanary to kill joker in secret bcs him thinking tim died like jason made him realise this dude should be dead